Perplexed but not Despairing captures a deeply personal moment of reflection amidst life’s upheaval. Barefaced and exposed, the portrait reflects my soul’s return to the rural roots I embraced upon arriving in Canada 15 years ago. Recently, the weight of city life and overwhelming busyness caused me to experience anxiety in ways I never had before. My body could no longer carry the stress, leading me to confront a much-needed change.

The loose, atmospheric brushstrokes convey the disarray and vulnerability I felt, while the subdued palette represents the calm emerging from chaos. Inspired by Corrie ten Boom’s words, “If the devil cannot make us bad, he will make us busy,” this painting reflects my realization that life’s busyness had consumed me to the detriment of relationships and peace.

Stepping away from full-time work and moving closer to my community gave me the space to rest and heal. Though perplexed, I am not in despair—this piece embodies the hope and clarity found in surrendering to life’s uncertainties, focusing on the unshakable things that remain.